Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
