Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
