where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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