I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize