you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
