i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize