I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
