thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
