1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
