And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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