I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
