I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
