is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We left an ass print on the piano.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
