I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
