sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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