I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
