tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
