Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
