I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
