Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
