Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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