I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
