i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
