Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
