you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
