im about as happy as oj after his trial
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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