I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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