holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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