I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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