i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
