I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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