i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
