happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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