Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
