I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
