It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
