I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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