in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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