i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize