My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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