Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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