It was confusing and full of hummus
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
