Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
