Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
not ubering you a puppy
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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