I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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