Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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