hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
