Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
