im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
