haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
