Christians are straight up FREAKS
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
