i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
