1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
