we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
