Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Randomize
