She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
