Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
