yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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