well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
