Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
